I first met Shauna 32 years ago on my first day at Secondary School. She led a charmed life. I wanted to be her. Her clothes were right, her hair was right, she was phenomenally clever. As we got older, she had the most handsome, caring boyfriend, Whilst the rest of us were constantly messed around by adolescents, her boyfriend was older and doted on her. We laughed together endlessly. One summer we sunbathed with tennis raquets over our legs to see if we could achieve the "Grilly-Lily" look. We bought a Stretch Armstrong doll and gave it back and forth to each other every Christmas and birthday - I don't know why, but it amused us. We went to University - I went to Newcastle, Shauna went to Edinburgh. We visited each other, but on leaving University we drifted apart. Shauna became a doctor and married a vet. I became a speech therapist, married and divorced. She had 3 sons, I had 3 daughters. Our contact was sporadic, but it didn't matter. I had my demons, Shauna had her's. I lived with and fought mine, she did the same but lost the fight. Shauna killed herself at the age of 44. She never thought she was good enough. I thought she was so good I wanted to be her. I miss her.
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